The Do’s and Don’ts of Online Dating for Women
So your friend’s hairdresser’s aunt found the most perfect man online, so did your grandma’s second cousin as well as your boss’s niece’s best friend. It seems like everyone is finding their match online except for you! You are signed up to 5 differed websites, are paying monthly fees and you haven’t found anyone that you like. For these many reasons, I have researched online dating, found what works and am ready to spill my secrets to all the lovely ladies looking for love.
After much trial and error, a lot of creeps, many nice guys, and a few in-person dates, I have perfected a great method of finding the really good guys on dating sites. From finding a site, to setting up a profile, and eventually meeting the lucky guy these steps will help you get on the fast track to a great relationship.
What Site Should I Use?
If you have tried a bunch of different sites to no avail, you have probably just spread yourself too thin. When you use more than one at a time, you simply do not have the time to really get to know any of the guys you are talking to. You can certainly try a few different sites at the beginning, but after a month, I would definitely narrow it down to one. The first way people think to narrow it down is by which site they have gotten the most messages on, have the cutest men, or is cheapest.
These are not the correct ways! The best way to pick the site for you is to find the one that is easiest for you to navigate. You probably do not want abazillion advertisements in between your correspondences or to have to click through 7 pages to send a message. Maybe you want to be able to make your background purple, play music, upload multiple pictures, and have a really specific custom search. Whichever site meets the most standards on your checklist is the one you want to stick with.
What About Free Ones?
If it’s free, it’s for me! Just because something is free it isn’t necessarily bad. Although some free site are littered with ads, let anyone contact you, and are really hard to use, many of them are of a high standard. On some you can say you don’t want smokers to see your profile, or you have to approve them as “Friends” before they can message you. There are many many great free dating websites you can try that will work fine.
The only possible problem with a free site is getting people who just want to ‘hook-up.’ Generally these people won’t pay to do this so they stick to free sites(and I will address them later in this article in the section titled “Let’s Meat Tonight.“) But hey, if you are on it, there must be plenty of decent gentlemen looking for love too!
Every dating site will let you search for potential matches. Some of them will go by location, and some you can specify race, religion, height, age, body type, etc. If you are willing to travel great distances, go for it! If you don’t want to, that’s fine too! Of all the awesome men in the world, chances are that one lives closer to you than you might think. If you don’t care too much about height, then do not specify. You want as many men to look at as possible at the beginning, so if something is not a high priority, leave it alone for the time being.
Lots of these searches will bring back a range of men while too specific ones will come up with much less. Most dating websites (even the free ones!) have a matching service. Around once a month, sometimes more or less, they will email you saying you have new matches. They do this magically and most of the time come back with very eligible fellows.
Let’s Meat Tonight
Meeting your online crush can sound like fun, but there are some strict guidelines to this. First, if you just started talking on a Monday and he wants to meet on Wednesday, he’s looking for a piece of meat. Unless you are looking for a quick hook-up, say no! If you have talked for a few months or sometimes even weeks, you should always start with phone conversations a while before discussing meeting. If you feel nervous about meeting, say no. If you think it is excitement nerves, try to wiggle your ears or flare your nostrils for a few minutes to take your mind off it (I swear that will work!) but don’t call it off.
Always meet in a public place with lights and other people. Do not meet in the back row of theater 19 at the local cinema. Do not meet in the dark ally between the Chinese take out and the used book store. Meet at a park, cafe, or maybe even a library during the day or early evening. If you are not travelling long distances, make plans just for an hour or two and if you hit it off then continue your night with him!
A decent man who is looking for a long term relationship will not ask you to meet him early on. He may imply it, or say he wants to meet you, but he will not say ‘Let’s meet up this Thursday.” A gentleman will wait for you to ask or suggest it before asking you on a date. Unless you have discussed the topic before, let him pay 🙂
Who Do I Talk To?
Being the beautiful woman you are, you will have dozens of men messaging you soon. Before responding to them all, check out their profiles. If you like what you see, give it a shot! Through your communications, you will start narrowing your list down to a small group of men that you would like to pursue. Leave it at that. If you want to message someone from a search, do not, I repeat: do not just say “hi.” These messages get deleted. If you want a response, say something about yourself, something you liked on his page, or really anything.
If you decide you don’t like someone, you can tell them you aren’t interested, or you can just stop talking to them. It’s the internet so no one really takes it personally! If someone harasses you, you can block or report them. Basically, talk to who you want, when you want. Just keep it polite. You are the boss, you will not settle for less, you will find an awesome person, you will choose who it will be, you are the boss,
Your profile should not have:
- Nude or Suggestive Photos
- Last Name
- Address, or other Personal Info
- All your Great Qualities
- What you don’t like in men
- What you like in bed
- Other such things
Your profile should have:
- Cute Face Picture
- Full (clothed) Body Picture
- First Name
- Answers to given questions (hobbies, education, etc.)
- Brief Bio on Yourself (5 paragraph max.)
- A Personality Flaw
I’m guessing most of these are very self-explanatory. I know some are not.
First I need to tell you to keep the bio brief. You do not need to put your life story, why you are on the site, all your life goals, etc. If people want to know that about you, they will ask. I once went to a man’s page who had about four written pages of a bio, with bad grammar, and weird formatting, needless to say, after the first paragraph, I moved to the next guy.
The reason I am telling you to list a flaw is because almost everyone seems perfect from their profile. I am not telling you to write “I am a mean bossy old hag who likes to kick small children when they walk by me,” I am telling you to write “Although I may seem perfect, I have my flaws. These include being a picky eater and laughing too hard at jokes.” Or something along those lines.
After finding your site, creating a great profile and talking to some wonderful guys, you will be heading straight towards a happy and healthy relationship with the man of your dreams. Now that you know the simple tricks to use dating websites effectively, get out an do it! Do not expect a perfect match the first day, it takes time. Be patient, kind, and yourself. If you follow my guidelines, you will have more success and be closer to finding your mate. Good luck and go get ’em ladies!